Navy Blue Spiffy Shift

This is a sensibly thick navy blue polyester will never need ironing! The lovely V at the neck matches the slit at the hem. The lovely buttons at the, uh, chest area match the button above the freedom slash that ensures you always have enough movement space to kick people or couches. The buttons on the fake pockets — I believe the term in the fashion industry is FOCKETS — don’t look anything like eyeballs on your boobs staring back at the people staring at you. Not even a little. Seriously, they don’t. IGNORE MY KIDS. I know I do.

The tag inside this unique 1960s or 1970s garment says R&K Originals. It’s for the girl who knows clothes, which leaves me out. I mean…fockets? Really? There’s a back zipper and I think there’s supposed to be a belt, but who knows what thrift store that ended up in? In a photo below, I show you what it would look like with a pink belt, and the answer is pretty good.

Would you like to not even come close to looking back at people who are looking at your chest? Here are the measurements:

Shoulders: 15.5
Pit2Pit: 16.5
Waist: 14.5
Length: 39
Hem width: 24
Front cut: 7 inches

You can own this for $25 plus shipping. Email me and tell me who you’ll be looking back at!

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